he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
