and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
