dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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