My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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