apparently the secret to your success is patron
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
