his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
