I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
