You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
