I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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