Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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