Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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