Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
