is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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