can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
