She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
