I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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