god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
