That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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