i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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