She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
