oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
