i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
