Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
