wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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