Can i not drive my cunt home
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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