Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
