butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm at about main and main street
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The Olympian is in my bed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
