I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
