he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize