are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
