dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
