i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
