We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
