You just made me feel so damn special
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
