my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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