All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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