Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
