I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
