you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
