this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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