Where did you get a picture of my penis
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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