my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
