we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
