Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
