You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
where are my eyebrows?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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