Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We are two peas in an std pod
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
