You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
