Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
