rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
