He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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