I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
please come you make the beer taste better
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
